I’ve been on a slow but steady decline for the past several years. I don’t move at all, barely leaving my room let alone the house; I’ve taken to eating shit I order out instead of cooking meals myself; I don’t get involved with any local orgs besides sending dues every month; I haven’t read a book in months; I regularly fail to perform bare minimum hygiene. The only reason I’m able to keep alive at all is because I haven’t moved out of my parents’ house, burdening them with helping me. It would be understandable if I was living hand to mouth and had barely any free time, but I am one of the small percent of burgers who isn’t a month away from destitution and I have more than enough free time. Not to mention I receive no shortage of help.
Since I can’t blame my material circumstances, I can only conclude that I am this way because I always refuse to take personal responsibility. I know that changing myself so that I can be, at bare minimum, not a drain on society is going to take a lot of work, work that I always put off due to cowardice. Idealist as it is, I feel like I have some innate metaphysical trait that makes me this way, and the entirety of my failure to pick myself up is due to a moral failing on my part and nothing more.
How do I force myself to unfuck myself so that I can actually be useful for revolution instead of yet another useless first world lotus eater?
MDMA is my music festival or good time go to, just remember the 3 month rule (don’t use regularly only once every 3 months) and never go past taking a “point” if it’s pressed pill make sure you take half (I’ve done a quarter too some Euros could be very powerful but I’ve had people tell me not to do that).
I am psychonaut on psychedelics. I can highly recommend and advise anyone through trips with LSD or Shrooms. Psilocybin changed my life got me off a cocaine addiction.
DMT helped me a lot… It got me out of a state that OP is in, and I went back to community college to study my true passion, music. DMT is… It’s an experience.
I am here if anyone would like advice on anything in the psychedelics dept.
Of course to each their own that is my experience with these substances, I am not trying to shove this down anyone’s throat but if they would like my experience I would be glad to share it.