So I’ve been working in retail for a while and seen my share of odd and rude customers, but today I had my very first “Karen”, and he was american also. (I’m not, and I’m in Australia).
The store I work for doesn’t give their bags for free, we charge for them. This guy picked an online order and then threw up a tantrum and demanded to speak to a manager when I refused to give him a bag for free. Another team member (more experienced) just gave him the bag and he just left.
That does it I guess, but it’s giving in to rude demands what sustains this kind of behavior imo. I’m not trying to protect the interests of the corporate I work for- it’s just a stupid bag ffs, perhaps ask nicely? I’ve been called off both for giving away bags for free before as well as calling for the manager to deal with “minor issues”.
So I’m asking, in general, how do you deal with these types of customers?
I mirror their body language like I’m gearing up for a fight and then make mine totally relax and talk in a pleasant voice. It breaks their brains.
Depends on the situation, but overall I first try to deescalate the customer and genuinely try to be helpful, but if the customer does not want to de-escalate or asks for absolutely outrageous demands, then I let them be whatever they want, just somewhere else.
One CO worker looked a rude old lady right in the eye and said “ma’am this is a place of business. When people do business they have to operate with mutual respect and trust. If we don’t trust each other to do our end of a transaction, we can’t exchange anything between us. If we don’t respect each other, we can’t exchange anything between us. I’ve been acting in trust and respect towards you, are you going to do the same for me? Because if you can’t, we can’t do business.”
She immediately stopped being bitchy and was never a problem again. It was the wildest shit I’ve ever seen.
Staying calm and speaking both rationality and politely does work wonders. It disarms most irate people. I just had to use the technique on some grumpy neighbors.
I’ve been both a line employee and a manager. My answer depends on the situation.
I worked “everything except manager” in a restaurant that sold beer by the pitcher. There’s a local law that says you can’t sell “floaters” (a pitcher of beer with a cup of ice floating in it). Most customers who wanted one were capable of asking for a cup of ice like an adult so they could assemble it themselves if they wanted. This one guy got hot as hell about it. I told him, sternly, that it was illegal for me to serve him a floater but I’d happily bring him a cup of ice and what he did with it after I dropped it off was his business as far as I was concerned.
That shut him up. He left a tip of like … 37 cents or some shit so I paid to wait his table that night. That was as much as I was ever going to get out of him so I figured I did alright there.
With things that weren’t against the law, I’d tell them sweet as can be “That’s against our rules but I’ll go ask my manager to see if I can make an exception.” You can imagine for yourself how often I bothered actually talking to a manager and how often I did or didn’t get or grant an exception. If it actually mattered, I would ask a manager. If an American customer doesn’t like your answer, they’ll demand to speak to the manager anyway. Telling a customer no before having a manager tell you to do it anyway just invites more of the same. They’ll behave even more outrageously next time you see them.
Typically, your manager in a restaurant or retail location has only a fraction more power than you do.
As someone who has managed an in-house support team, if an internal customer is rude, cruel, or demanding to one of my employees or contractors, I won’t put up with it. I can and have, politely and firmly, told them they need to behave professionally. I’ll happily tell them that we’re not the ones who set the rules but we are responsible and accountable if we break them. And I will use my political power to make sure they regret it if they press on.
It sounds like your other, more experienced team member has decided that it probably doesn’t matter. Not being a 'Strayan, I can’t say whether they’re right or not. In an American context (outside of California anyway), I’d probably make the same call. After “checking with the manager.” 😉
Man I really need to get my eyes checked. I thought the title said “How do you deal with nude customers?”
I mean, my answer is the same regardless: Fuck 'em.
But yeah. I need glasses.
Username checks out I guess :)
Never lose your cool. Smile and talk to them like they are a three year old.
Unfortunately in America, all and any retail bows to the wills of stupid fucking entitled customers. If it was my way, I’d allow at least a two limit outburst per week if I was managing a store chain. Don’t hit them, don’t do any harm, just express yourself and tell them how it is.
But, if you really do anything and I mean anything to a customer, it’s your job. It’s really bullshit how it works. However, if you plan to leave your job anyways, who the fuck cares? Let them have it.
The best retail job I ever worked was at a high volume liquor store. Sure, it was soul crushing to see teachers buying pints of vodka on their lunch breaks or to load the old widower’s truck with his weekly case of Carlo Rossi, but there were some upsides.
We were legally obligated to refuse a sale to anyone acting suspicious since our jobs were literally on the line - selling to a minor or selling to someone you knew was buying for a minor meant that you could get fined, jailed, fired, or some combo of all three. That gave us a lot of power to control the point of sale interaction. Liquor stores and check cashing business are heavily regulated so there are frequent sting operations to ensure stores follow the various laws and regulations; this made for a wonderful way to disarm cranky customers.
We also were told to not sell to unruly or obviously inebriated people. We had a “banned customers” binder with people’s pictures from the security cameras sitting on the desk at one of the registers.
We had strict hours because it was illegal to sell outside of the hours of 8am to 11:59pm on week days, or 8am to 8pm on Sundays. If you’ve never worked retail, you don’t know the absolute joy of being able to say, “make a purchase or leave; no customers in the store after midnight,” especially if you’ve worked at restaurant. I remember dealing with someone who was banging on the door at 7:50-something in the morning demanding to be let in and calmly telling them through the locked door, “it’s not 8am on our clock and that’s the only clock that matters.”
While I’m not a fan of the police or calling them unnecessarily, the passive threat of the police occasionally being in the parking lot for DUI enforcement regulated a lot of people’s behavior without us having to say anything or make a phone call.
I’d never work at a liquor store again, though.
I’ve long said that every retail worker should be legally allowed to physically fight ten customers per year. And not a calendar year, where all the employees would be out of fights by the time holiday shopping season rolled around (or would be forced to save all of their fights for the holiday season). Give them ten points, and each point takes a year to fall off of their record once it is used. And the retail employee would have zero obligation to tell the customer if they have any points. Leave the customer guessing until the employee swings on them.
As gun nuts are so fond of saying: An armed society is a polite society. I think it would solve a lot of the problems with Karens. Karens only go full Karen because they hold all of the power in the relationship. But the threat of potential violence would go a long way towards quelling the most unreasonable ones, and people would only bother going full Karen if they truly felt they were justified and were willing to back it up with a fight.
Your colleague is a dick for not backing you up.
When I was in retail (Apple Store), we had a saying “Don’t feed the bears”. Meaning if you give in to petulant outbursts, the offender will keep coming back and asking for more.
Meh, shoulda called him a “Cunt”. That’s not an ok word with Americans.
j/k: not worth the trouble.
😆
I’ve been in customer service in various roles for over twenty years. I’ve spent the last six in different positions in animal shelters, veterinary clinics, and am currently at a pet food manufacturer. Anything involving people’s pets leads to highly emotional situations, especially when things don’t go the way pet owners are hoping. I’ve dealt with people on some of the worst days of their lives. This leads to a lot of heated interactions.
You’re absolutely right, your coworker’s choice to give in to this man’s tantrum is not how that should have been handled. It rewards Karen’s nasty behavior, and it sends the wrong message to other customers. Staying calm, explaining policies simply, and not becoming defensive or arguing points that don’t matter is important. My golden rule is to avoid letting a customer get a reaction out of me by all means necessary. I usually tire them out with calm kindness and repetition, because they’re used to making people uncomfortable to get their way. I’ve got all day, Karen. At least I’m getting paid for this, while they’re wasting their own time.
I resonate with this answer. I should practice more that “repeat calmly I got all day” strategy.
I’m glad it was helpful! Staying zen in the face of an irate or confrontational customer isn’t easy, but it’s the most effective way I have found to manage these types of situations. Rules and policies are in place for a reason, and I’m not going to be bullied into unfairly breaking rules for an asshole. If people are nice and respectful I will do everything in my power to assist however I can, but entitled people need to stop being catered to. The fact that their behavior gets them what they want is exactly why they treat people this way.
I get my manager. That’s their job, it’s generally what the customer wants anyway, and I’m not paid enough to take abuse.
Used to work a chain coffee shop. Had a closing shift by myself, but would randomly get slammed with large groups of people. On occasion when customers were rude to me while I was trying to do everything on my own, I just snapped and swore at them and gave them the finger. I thought I was going to get fired when word got back to my manager, but all I ever got were raises and eventually promoted to assistant manager.
Nice, good on you. Sounds like your management was down to earth
I think they were mostly just desperate for people who could do the job and wouldn’t quit within a month. I always got my work done, but I learned I’m not cut out for customer service.
It’s been decades, but I enjoy not giving them what they want. Unfortunately, management usually caves. If they are nice, I DGAF and will do whatever I can.
People suck and retail isn’t worth getting too worked up about, unless you desperately need the job.
Its been a few years since i worked in fast food/drive thru. But the highlight of my time there was when a car refused to take thier receipt. Literally threw it back at me when i gave them thier drink + reciept. (reciepts are given to all cars incase of an order mix up)
Walked over to the other window, and put the reciept in the bag with thier food.
We had bouncers dealing with them when I worked as a cook in Amsterdam at a grand cafe also selling hash and weed. If anyone was rude or entitled, mostly American or British tourist, they got dealt with pretty quick. I remember Americans going ballistic over orders, like “who put fucking tomato on my fucking BLT?!”, I could hear this woman screaming from th kitchen. Got launched by a knee from a bouncer, don’t be rude.
“who put fucking tomato on my fucking BLT?!”
Doesn’t the T in BLT stand for tomato?
Bacon, Lettuce, Take yourself the fuck outta here
Bacon Lettuce Thing
It sure does.
Ah lucky you. Unfortunately we don’t have bouncers here and security sucks. We’re in a mall and it takes them about half an hour to get to us if we call them. Useless
I haven’t seen an entitled British making a fuss though and we get lots of people from UK.
