Bug Stompers

Second Fleet Lord Keras barely made it back to his heavy cruiser alive. He had just escaped the most horrible enemy he ever came across and was now sitting in his shuttle, waiting for clearance to land.

But Science master Koops used his veto and held his superiors shuttle at gun point away from the heavy cruiser.

“My Lord, we have to burn your shuttle to shake of the infestation, you need to gear up in a space suite quickly and enter the flag ship through a free space walk.”

Lord Keras sighted. This was to be expected. At least as a member of the noble cast his subordinates tried honestly saving him from utter peril.

“Master Koops, as embarrassing as it is I will follow your advice. Prepare a full staff meeting so we may discuss what brought this utter defeat upon us.”

…

Twenty minutes later Lord Keras gave a lecture to his staff, his feathers still unclean and his beak shivering from fear.

“As you can see from my recordings the enemy is a kind of insect hive mind. They are highly organized, we have at least found out they have a queen, billion of workers, farmers and warriors. They breed insanely fast and fear no death. They skin is nearly as hard as steel, they are strong enough to lift a thousand times their own weight and they posses a deadly acid they can spray at their targets from afar. In addition their bite can penetrate our best armour.

The most frightening property though is their instinctive ability to cooperate and overwhelm even the largest opponent. While every single one of these critters is only the size of a finger of our mighty warriors they attack by the thousands, swarming the enemy, crossing fortifications, rivers, traps, everything just by using their bodies like bridges, like ladders, like building bricks. They throw their lives away for the slightest advantage and never stop!

Though our elite company of fine soldiers was able to hold out against their onslaught for nearly a week, in the end the lack of supply and the ever growing numbers of the enemies meant their end. If we are talking about lesser security units or unarmed civilians then it always ends with a brutal massacre!

I suggest to glass this world from high orbit even though it once was a valuable garden world. And I suggest to do the same to the worlds of Airodna and the source of this new plague, New Chicago.”

His audience clattered their beaks almost in unison to show their approval.

Only Master Koops scratched his beak against his arm, a sure sign something was gnawing on him.

Valuing the opinion of his old companion the Lord addressed Master Koops

“Master Koops, please speak your mind.”

“Uh, excuse me, my Lord. I already had to embarrass you once today by not letting you land your shuttle…”

“Water under the bridge, I stand with your decision. Please dare to speak trueth to power.”

“The plague started on New Chicago. That is a human world which we received after the Galactic Court decided the border dispute in our favour. It is right at the human border and it is safe to assume they are under attack too. As sour as our relationship became after the court decision, if we work together we could help each other. See, the humans are big and tough but we have the technology. They only live on a dozen worlds, we on a thousand worlds. And even if they aren’t able to help us we own them to help evacuate and protect their few worlds.”

“You always had a soft heart for the big apes. But yes, I think your idea is a strategic valid and morally true one.

To COMMUNICATIONS: Get me a hyper communication channel to Earth, highest priority.

To STRATCOM: Block planetary traffic within 20 light years except for special military movements."

…

Lord Keras just finished his speech to the Chairman of the United Human Nations “…and they even eat our dead! Thousands have died and we have to stop them before they reach denser populated areas.”

The big brown primate, Chairman Mema Addo-Akufo, gazed at him with fear in his eyes.

“Are you sure it is an insect hive mind? We have theorized those might exist and that they are the most dangerous plague possible to imagine.”

“Yes. My own scientific and military staff agrees in the assessment of the danger. We are close to sterilizing the affected worlds and just wanted to hear your opinion about this problem first. As you are close to the infected worlds you might also have suffered losses?”

“No? Not as far as I know of. But I make sure to get you into contact with our recon, military and scientific departments. While I am not an expert into these matters, I am mostly a political place holder, can you send me a simple fact sheet? Some pictures? So I have a face for the enemy?”

“It should arrive in your Galnet-Mail any moment.”

Addo-Akufo browsed through the sheet a moment later. Tilted his head. Then he spoke determined “I think I know the right men you should speak to. Our price is the return of the worlds you took from us.”

…

When his phone rang Enrico Mueller was having a beer while sitting in the back of his van, watching how a slightly yellow gas streamed into the giant plastic tent ahead of him.

“Pest Control Mueller. We are Bug Stompers. If it bites you we can kill it.”

He listened in surprise how an alien bird was telling him about a war of extinction on his worlds. Horrible monster armies overwhelming the best defences by sheer numbers, eating living and dead. That sounded like a job for the military, not for someone catching rats and termites, he wanted nothing to do with that madness. Until he looked through the fact sheet.

“Oh, I see. You have a nasty case of fire ants. Yeah, those are really nasty little critters. How much it would cost to remove the plague? 50 dollars per hour plus expenses. Three planets? Uh, I think I need to call my brothers, that is a bit too much for one man. No, they are easy to handle if you know how to do them. We have millions of their hives all around our planet.

Hello? Did you just faint?”

…

Note from the author: We have nearly a dozen ant nests in our garden. Thanks god only the small black ones. They are still pretty warmongering but mostly we get along well as long as I respect their territory.