Worthy
“Human Jeannette Rankin, you stand before the highest cosmic court to defend your species. The court accuses the human species to be dangerous, savage child race. How do you plead?”
UN General-Secretary Jeannette Rankin had been speaking in front of the UN when she suddenly experienced a cold chill and a blinding light and found herself in front of this… court? She stood in a bright beam of light while darkness surrounded her, then that clearly non-human voice addressed her.
“What?” she said.
She quickly realized that wasn’t exactly a pinnacle of eloquence.
“Sorry, I am confused. Where am I and what is the meaning of all of this?”
A different voice boomed “The accused is incapable of following the trial. This species is unfit to plead! We can declare the sentence immediately and commence with the extermination.”
At these words Jean felt her adrenaline rush! She had a vague idea about what she was facing and quickly made a decision.
“NOT GUILTY.”
“But you can’t deny that you’re a dangerous, savage child race.”
“Most certainly I deny it. I agree we still face numerous problems. But we are aware of them and we get better every day!”
The second voice boomed again “Today you slaughter millions in silly arguments about how to divide the resources of your little world. And four hundred years before that you were murdering each other in quarrels over tribal god-images. There are no indications that humans will ever change. You have nothing to offer to the universe except savagery and pain.“
“We do! We create technology, we create art, we love, we care! We are so much more than our past!”
“Show Evidence!”
Now that was bad. Jean was a lawyer and crisis politician. She could tell the court a thousand good reasons to exterminate the humans but in all this confusion she simply couldn’t come up with something worth showing… Sun Tzu… bad… The Crucification of Jesus Christ from Antonello da Messina… very bad… her own support for death penalty… Teletubbies, Hitler, Ren&Stimpy, Stalin and Mao kissing, George Orwell 1984, Putin with no shirt, Trump playing golf… shit, her mind was running in circles!
“You are exceeding the patient of the court, defendant.”
Here goes nothing she thought and pulled out her phone. No connection. Shit. Was anything stored locally on the phone? … Oh. My. God. That is utterly shameful. But the last chance for humanity.
She started the music video and held it up into the air. Techno-Magic enhanced the video to the size of a house. Silence except for the Beats of the cheesy pop song. The video had been accidentally sent to the internal mailing-list of the UNHCR and she personally had given the responsible intern a nasty scolding.
Suddenly some sounds started to join the rhythm… did the aliens “clap”?
More “clapping” joined the beats.
A light started to shine above a being in the dark, it jerked like it…. a dancing huge locust?
Another fury creature appeared in the dark, swaying his tail with the rhythm.
And another, then some more… suddenly the dark room was filled with hundreds of dancing and swinging creatures and finally light flooded the whole room, like a disco ball started to spin! Hundreds of weird creatures, avians, crustaceans, dragons, metal beings, they all moved to the beat, clapped their extremities, twittered, howled! A giant rhino like creature rose up and tried replicating the dancing movements from the video – and was actually not bad.
Could it be…???
Just dance, Jean, she thought and joined in! She had learned ballet and rock’n’roll dance in her youth and even though she had long left that era behind she still knew how to dance, how to join the beat and to swing her hips!
For four minutes the whole court was dancing, hopping, howling, singing!
Then the video was over.
“Order!” boomed the first voice and the room darkened again. “We have seen enough.”
For a minute, which felt like eternity, nothing happened. Jean felt sweat running down her back. Fear about the future but also exhaustion from dancing wild.
Then the first voice boomed again. “Your species is extraordinary. Your art is unique. The colours, the music, the emotions, the hope. Working together for the better of all, to live free and in harmony. Such a positive vision of the future, the joy, the will to work together for a better future. The mercy for the opponent.”
Silence.
The second voice spoke up again.
“We are sorry that we have been blinded by your past, misinformed by your enviers.
You are Worthy.
Case dismissed.”
“Thank you…”
Before she had finished the words she experienced the cold chill and the blinding light again and stood back in front of the UN. The hall was in uproar, the ambassadors were guided outside while armed security streamed inside.
“SHE IS BACK!”
The Rumanian ambassador pointed at her and shouted again
“SHE IS BACK!”
The Chief of Security shouted through the room “Are you ok? What happened?”
Jean grabbed the microphone which was still active from when she was speaking to the UN only minutes ago, but an era away.
“I think Katy Perry just saved humanity with California Girls.”
…
Thumbs up to the remote cousin who asked me to proof read her school analysis of said video.
I hid two other Easter eggs in the story. One historical, one from media. Whoever finds one first earns my deepest respect.
In other news, the mentioned intern is currently preparing a deal of 98 SM-5 missiles. Dunno if that rings a bell.
But enough of cheesy pop for me. Now listening to “dArtagnan - We’re gonna be drinking ft. Candice Night, Blackmore’s Night“ – Cheers!