• dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world
      20·
      8 months ago

      Interviewer: Are you suggesting that you left your previous employer at a substantial percentage of the speed of light to only slow down and arrive here at this very moment?

      Candidate: I remember it like it was yesterday.

      Interviewer: ::hasty note-taking noises::

      • dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world
        3·
        8 months ago

        Boy, that career pivot to an Arasaka lap-dog would be kind of rough though:

        Employee Eval Form

        1. Does the employee achieve their tasks on time, and under budget?

        [ ] Never [ ] Rarely [ ] Sometimes [ ] Often [x] Always

        1. Does the employee pay attention to details?

        [x] Never [ ] Rarely [ ] Sometimes [ ] Often [ ] Always

        …

        1. Does the employee exhibit signs of cyberpsychosis on the job?

        [ ] Never [ ] Rarely [ ] Sometimes [x] Often [ ] Always