For services I host I really like this EULA:

If the Provider of the Service (the “Provider”) needs a place to crash and you have a sofa available, you should maybe give the Provider a break and let him sleep on your couch.

If you are caught in a dire situation wherein you only have enough time to save one person out of a group, and the Provider is a member of that group, you must save the Provider.

THE ACCESS IS PROVIDED “AS IS”, WITHOUT WARRANTY OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO BLAH BLAH BLAH ISN’T IT FUNNY HOW UPPER-CASE MAKES IT SOUND LIKE THE LICENSE IS ANGRY AND SHOUTING AT YOU.

Edit: original found here: https://github.com/pirate/security-growler