Just venting a bit.
I expected that dysphoria will increase with more euphoria but not this fast. Before, I had dysphoria because of my presentation, fat distribution and chest but things that didn’t bother me at all started to feel wrong and I just want to get rid of them. This mainly includes body hair, genitals and facial hair.
I also need more euphoria. At this point I put on feminine clothes every time I go to the bathroom (it’s the only place where I have complete privacy). It seems like I’ll have to buy some women’s underwear to feel more comfortable (so far I only put on my mom’s clothes that is going to washing machine). I’m kinda scared to go and buy it myself, ordering online is pretty risky until I come out.
Dysphoria increasing when you accept yourself is quite common. Often, it’s because we had this vague feeling of discomfort that is hard to identify, but after we come out and accept our need to transition, our dysphoria stops being vague. Once we accept ourselves, we can’t hide from the things that are hurting us as well.
But the other side of that coin is that even though it can often get worse to start with, it’s also what you need to do to be able to resolve that discomfort and do something about it! You’re on a path, and it’s got lots of bumps and brambles, but it will ultimately get you closer to where you need to be