How much time have you spent being single?

If you’re currently single: is it by choice or circumstance?

Do you / did you enjoy single life?

What are / were the pros and cons?

Is / was partnership a goal of yours?

If you’re currently not single: Did your goals change after getting into a relationship?

What are the pros and cons?

  • The How™@lemmings.world
    4·
    7 months ago

    Have you asked yourself wether it’s truly something you want for yourself, or instead, perhaps a feeling that you’re behind on some social benchmark? I ask because I’m 33 with a relatively similar experience, but when a woman I dated told me she thought I might be asexual, when I did the research and asked myself these questions I realized I was operating entirely on the supposition that I’m ‘normal’, and not that the urges to be in relationships and have sex likely stemmed from a perceived social obligation.

    Once I realized that in my heart of hearts I’ve never actually experienced an urge to have sex with another person, I embraced an asexual identity. Without sex as a motivator, I soon realized I didn’t even experience romantic attraction.

    Some folks think this is sad, but in truth I’m so much happier and carefree, without the pressures to fit into a mold that doesn’t actually fit me, much less the stresses of maintaining a relationship.

    • stoy@lemmy.zip
      2·
      7 months ago

      That is a very good point, I have thought about it and mostly embraced the idea of never experiencing sex, and it sure is relaxing to just not worry about it.

      On the other hand, I am quite lonely, I have few friends, and sometimes it is tough to deal with shit on my own.

      Dealing with mycoplasma and pneumonia at the same time for one and a half months mostly on my own was not fun, even had to go to the hospital for that, and stayed two nights before starting to get better.

      Sex for me would be interesting, I like learning how things work and with a partner who would be patient with me I think it would be quite enjoyable.

      I know sex is a very important part of a relationship for many people, and I am mostly worried that I would be too disappointing in that area.

      What I mainly am looking for in a relationship is companionship, I am getting tired of allways being alone, though I will concede that being single and living alone makes planning a breeze for the most part.