My family immigrated to the UK from Poland when I was six. I’m 20 now, speak much better English than Polish and feel like this is my land/culture. However I have a Polish first and last name, Polish passport and “unique” accent everyone picks up on, so despite this I’m usually perceived as an outsider. It makes me really sad because I don’t “belong” in Poland anymore either. Everything seems so complicated especially as I’ve gotten older with having to get the right documentation for work and opening a bank account and etc also… Not even sure if I can vote in the next general election even though I feel like I should be able to?
I’ve had a few nasty instances of being told to go back to my own country, even had a conker thrown at my head while a boy yelled Polski at me in year 11, and tbh even just been seen as a novelty and being asked to say something in Polish has gotten really old. I guess I’m just wondering if I’ll ever truly fit in. For some context, I grew up in North England and now live in Wales
I am born and raised in England to Indian parents so always had some internal tension. Sometimes, I don’t understand my patents culture and sometimes I don’t understand English culture. However, I’ve realised I am who I am, and can take the best bits from both. There are some bits I don’t like so I’m the better for being / having that mix. I married an Irish person who moved over several years ago. Irish used to be the “other” and were screwed over, but now are sometimes considered “white”, so just shows the target moves.
There has always been racism in British society and unfortunately I have felt it pick up since the Brexit vote and Trump’s election (I think it empowered them). However, it is from a small minority of people. In some areas it comes from ignorance, which I can kind of forgive. Others will always see us as outsiders with our foreign names (and my brown skin) no matter what we do. I just think, screw them. I mean, can they trace themselves back before the Normans, the Romans or the Vikings etc? Where do you draw the line exactly?!? England has always been a mix of people and culture so they’re the ones missing out. I’m happy driving my Korean car to a German store to buy ingredients for a Thai green curry. Oh, I’ll grab a French pastry for breakfast, Chilean wine for the weekend and well, you get the idea! Let’s make the most of this multicultural place and ideas, and who cares about bigots who you can guarantee, like a cheeky korma and Belgian beer…
Definitely relate to not quite fitting in with either culture! I’m grateful for the perspective my heritage has given me on national identity and how I view different customs as a whole, because I think it has made me more understanding of others. But I definitely feel most understood myself when with other people who are dual identity, no matter what those identities are - there are definitely common threads we all share, from trying to fit in and camouflage to the dissonance we feel when considering what it would be like to move back to our country of origin