NEW YORK—In the wake of the landmark trial that made him the first person to both serve as president of the United States and be convicted of a felony, the entire nation reportedly shrugged Thursday after hearing about the 34 guilty charges for Donald J. Trump and then unpaused the most recent episode of MILF Manor.…
Wait, I’m trying to keep up here. So FoxNews is not a news network, but Onion satire is just straight facts?
For the love of all, please stop trying to fix this timeline! You’re only making it worse!