I was treated by pigeons in a superior manner to that which I was treated by my parents or other humans. In light of this profound insight, I developed an alternative theory, namely pigeonism, which represents a significant improvement on communism.

Pigeons are demonstrably superior to humans, and thus the means of production should rightfully belong to them. This insight was revealed to me in a dream. Social equality can be defined as pigeon equality. Those who exploit pigeons, including capitalists, birds of prey, falconers and humans who cook and eat pigeons, will be incarcerated in a facility akin to the Gulag, where they will be compelled to work and undergo re-education to foster their appreciation for pigeons. The severity of the crime will determine the length of incarceration.

Pigeons are cool.