it’s a major flaw and I hope it gets addressed as lemmy/fediverse evolves, or else it’s not going to work

Defederation is an important tool for admins (e.g. if a server full of nazis appears, we want it to be defederated immediately).

Hopefully admins realise over time it’s stupid to defederate over trivial stuff, and it causes users to revolt and possibly a decline in your server’s activity.

Also, make sure you complain to your admin if they do this, or just leave and go to a new server.