It’s not feeling worth anything constantly trying to stay away from my thoughts while feeling so sad depressed I want to say all these things to someone and hope someone will care but my sadness is all mine to carry I know it I know feeling better is temporary it’ll fade off the moment I remember who I am I don’t want any expectations neither from myself nor from anything or anyone why isn’t the insect digging tiniest holes in the ground feeling bad about itself why is it just moving around without suffering this kind of meaninglessness why am I feeling it so bad but I still chose to stay alive I know killing myself is never a choice just cause I feel this isn’t good enough to give it all up I hope someday I just become like that insect unworried just waking up getting lost in some task until it’s time to fall asleep with no miseries and die sometime uncertain.

  • Randomgal@lemmy.ca
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    2
    ·
    28 days ago

    Y’all sound like you need therapy. (No, really) Or if you can’t access it but still need to talk to someone body there are numbers you can call for free. (Try NYC Well if you’re in the US).

    I hope things get better for y’all!

    • kuku@lemy.lolOP
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      2
      ·
      28 days ago

      I can’t talk bam bam… take 50 mg paroxetine for 3 months and see if words come out. No offense we just need to take stuff out so write it here it ain’t actually so sad for me atleast the pills have done the work perfectly.