So I became fairly recent aware and confident enough to accept my inner self being a woman instead of a man, like my body. All of my friends are super affirming and supportive, and I totally love them for having them!
But thats the good side of it all. There is the bad side as well.
Just randomly, during a quite boring company online meeting, I scrolled through some toots, listend to some music and to their presentation, I got such a severe anxiety attack. I don’t know why, or what I could do. I was just bawling my eyes out. All those negative emotions of just being different, that there are groups in our society that dont accept us or even worse attack us hit me all at once.
It was utterly horrible. I sat there in my chair for atleast 10 minutes, unable to do anything but cry and destroy my mind.
Then I got a smidge of courage and joined my friends (who also happen to be colleagues from the same team) discords voice chat. Just expressing that I’m fricking awful and telling them about it. How I feel and all, but unable to determine a trigger. Sure they couldn’t really “help” me, giving me advice or whatever. But that they were just listening, and understanding was already enough to get me out of that awful hole.
I am so lucky that I have them, just one click away.
Sorry for the ramblings, but I just had to somewhat write all of that shit down.
Thank you so much for your response!
I guess we are all sisters in battle here, and nobody will judge you when you rant or vent here. This is a safe place for us, right :D
Well I would like to know what was the trigger so I could potentially avoid it. But perhaps its also a way to learn to cope with those attacks. Its great to have friends on “standby” even if they just listen, as you just said it super helpful already.
Thank you :3
And you as well!