I just listened to this in bed last night! Great for sleeping. Love this guy.

A

You’ll find that anywhere. Not just on the Internet, either. Literally, everywhere.

Half and half is only fair. Trick or treat

Wow, you had flour at your house? Who’s the capitalist pig now? Must’ve been nice eating bread.

I tried to tell this to some kid at my child’s school’s trunk or treat the other day he said, “sorry all I have is a pillowcase” and I said dude that’s the way to rock it. You can fit way more candy in it. Plus you can sneak some in your room by stuffing your pillow in there. I never used a bucket as a kid. I always used the pillowcase.

Now that I think about it we were also really poor…

Black licorice

Straight from bored panda after they stole it from reddit. This meme has legs!

This explains my long haired dachshunds behavior

O

Sometimes I forget to post the eviction notice in advance.

Mostly air then… Figures

We don’t talk about those

Gotta be careful where you drop pollen these days.

As a pest control professional, I assure you that wasps aren’t trying to fuck you up. They get aggressive in the late season but for the most part they won’t fuck with you unless you are a threat. I’ve knocked down countless wasp nests with my brush and only been stung a few times. Those times I got stung I was really asking for it by how I went about it. They’re also accidental pollinators so they do help more than people think.

Oh man, one of my first dates was this movie. I had to take my little brother and his friend which was the only way my parents were gonna let me go to the movies alone with this girl. Made them sit one row in front of us and got zero action because the chick was into this movie too much lol.

O

I really enjoyed the style of this show. Was good too.

all ways

This is the adult, “takes one to know one”