I’m experiencing so many conflicting emotions right now. Horrified, amused, enthusiastic, resigned…

There’s smoke coming out of my ears, and I smell a burning clutch from constantly shifting gears.

No, but it didn’t matter anyway. That area wasn’t known for earthquakes. By the time my brain got out of “WTF?” mode, it was over.

The worst was also the funniest. An earthquake hit while I was on the toilet.

Everybody wins

In my case, a sack of White Castles.

As well he should.

I’m glad they accounted for mountains. Otherwise, this would seem unrealistic.

Simple, short term pleasures, abandoning of long term plans, and taking comfort in the fact that I have not (and will not) bring children into this world.

Smartass remarks aside, you have my sympathies.

I know nothing about the process. How can a decision take months? What else are they doing? Are there counter arguments or something happening in the meantime?

Oh, Texas. Your power grid is an endless source of amusement (for people who don’t have to rely on it, of course).

Almost. Substitute dictatorial control for independence, and you’ve got it!

I had to keep reminding myself that it’s August, not April 1st. This is asinine.

People who don’t know/acknowledge the difference between “free speech” and “hate speech”