Walking in with my pants rolled up to mid-calf and the knees busted out like I’ve been giving head at the local truck stop for the last three weeks. I’ve got a full head of hair, yet I insist on shaving everything but the crown. I absolutely cannot grow a beard, and I refuse to get a proper shave. I’m wearing a watch in the year 2025, purely to show off how much money I can throw at one of the only allowed men’s accessories. Neck. Tattoos. There’s a 50/50 chance I’m wearing socks.
The entire cast of the Jersey Shore is lining up to get my number. Everyone else is staying at the distance necessary not to smell the patchouli.
Walking in with my pants rolled up to mid-calf and the knees busted out like I’ve been giving head at the local truck stop for the last three weeks. I’ve got a full head of hair, yet I insist on shaving everything but the crown. I absolutely cannot grow a beard, and I refuse to get a proper shave. I’m wearing a watch in the year 2025, purely to show off how much money I can throw at one of the only allowed men’s accessories. Neck. Tattoos. There’s a 50/50 chance I’m wearing socks.
The entire cast of the Jersey Shore is lining up to get my number. Everyone else is staying at the distance necessary not to smell the patchouli.