Whenever I’m out in public with my friends, if a woman passes by, they always feel compelled to say whether or not “would bang”. They make it out like I’m the weird one for not doing this.
Pretty common and has been for a long time ( at least since the patriarchy ), it used to be even harrassment when wolf-whistling and similar practices were more common. As women rights have progressed, these practices have been replaced by these whispers between friends. Still the people that do these things are pretty much telling you that they only think about sex.
“Normal”? Sadly yes with men.
Still gross as fuck. Feel validated, and if you can try to make them feel like the weird ones.
It is not normal but it is widespread and extremely sexist obviously
Yeah I have friends like that. It seems to be normalized in the among the more reactionary friends of mine, while the more progressive ones (as in some radlib tendencies) seem to be more crticial of such behavior although it still happens, albeit less frequently. It always makes me really uncomfortable.
These answers are pretty surprising to me. I don’t know where do you all live nor what kind of people do you get yourselves involved with (and frankly, I don’t want to know), but I’m honestly glad that I can’t relate to this.
deleted by creator
No, those kids are dorks.
Due to living under patriarchy, this is not uncommon even though it sucks. Not sure how best to confront/diffuse it, but maybe mocking the behavior somehow would get the point across.
I’m not friends with your dick, so I don’t care about its preferences. Next time someone tells me ‘would bang’ I am kicking you in the balls as a form of negative reinforcement behavior modification.
deleted by creator
I’ve never understood this. I’ve never wanted to do that kind of thing.
Depends on where you live and who you hang with. In my experience this behavior isn’t normal and showing it would get you shamed and made fun of if not blackballed
Nope. Even when I was a teen we just looked and were happy with it. I have one friend that comments on instagram girls but we mostly don’t care to label them into “would bang” or “would not bang”.
“Is street harassment normal?” and “Is street harassment good?” are two very different questions.
It’s common, and it’s gross. When i’m out in public, my main concern is where i’m going to eat next, not about strangers.
yeah its pretty normal. not sure why americans are all such puritans that the idea of talking to your friends about who you’re attracted to is abnormal
Please don’t paint all of us non-Americans as creeps. To get weirded out if you are casually walking down the street and a friend of yours by your side tells you “I’d totally bang that one” when a random woman that none of you two has ever seen before passes by is not to be a puritan: it’s to be a normal human being with a minimum sense of what is socially appropriate and what it isn’t.
I don’t understand whats creepy about it. is it socially inappropriate because you’re talking about sex or inappropriate because you’re talking about being attracted to someone?
It’s objectification. You are reducing another human being into an object whose only characteristic is whether or not you’d fuck them.
Commenting on someone’s fashion choices, how they’ve styled their hair, how they’ve chosen to present themselves, etc is normally not objectifying, as those are choices that person made. Saying, “that person is pretty/handsome/beautiful” is closer to objectifying but is more dependent on the rest of the context. But saying “I’d fuck her” is objectification.
This isn’t Puritanism, it’s about seeing other human beings as human beings and not a hole to fuck.
part of being a human being is having a physical body which will have features people like and another part of being a human being is having a libido and being interested in other people. the hard barrier you make going from “that person is pretty” (we can rephrase this to be “that person has overall features I consider attractive and possibly I find myself attracted to them”) and “I’d fuck her” (that person has overall features I consider attractive and I find myself so attracted to them to the point I would have sex with them if given the opportunity) is in fact not a line going from not objectifiying to objectifiying but a natural continuation of the feeling and logic. the only real difference is the level of respect being given since “I’d fuck her” is a much less respectful phrase and the fact sex is being talked about which is why this ties into “puritan culture”
In my experience, the wording is not “I am attracted to this person”, it is rather done in a more degrading way. It is ok to say to your friend, that you are attracted to someone. But it can get quite annoying if a person starts rating every other person. I can somehow understand this behaviour if someone is experiencing puberty. Hormones are a hell of a thing.
It gets far more inappropriate if it is done in a political context. Likey being part of an organisation/party and some comrades are behaving like they are on Tinder.
Op should simply tell their friends, that they should stop doing it if it is a problem.
talking to your friends about who you’re attracted to
Not the way they’re doing it
yeah its crass, blunt, and not polite but its just talking about who you’re into
well stop being “crass, blunt, and not polite” and objectifying women, and people will stop calling you a fuckin dork
nobody calls me a dork and I talk with my friends in such a way and vice versa all the time lol. its quite perflexing to me its such a huge issue to you guys
Neither you nor your friends sound neither like very pleasant people to be around. That kind of behaviour would be unacceptable within any mildly decent communist party, and seeing the replies you are getting, I am glad to see that it is the case here too.
one of my friends is a CPC member lmao
Not a good one I see.
