all whities (the so-called Romans) ever did was grill their meat in the circus when they were watching a gladiator match and then afterwards drink watered down wine. At least they knew that you should cook food before eating it.

Aqueducts?? They didn’t even know about germ theory. What would they need all this fresh water for? (To power underground nuclear plants aliens gave them the blueprints for). Sewers?? They shared a single sponge to wash their ass with. They didn’t even know about pants ffs, are you seriously implying this bunch of femboys conquered the Celts in skirts?

Get real. Aliens took pity on these pasty crackkkers and beamed them some basic 101 tech that other greater civilizations had figured out CENTURIES prior. All their pantheon of like 100 gods are the different outer space aliens that came to visit them at various points in history – nobody needs 100 gods, let me tell you that much. “Phoebus” pulls the sun with his chariot?? Yeah right. That’s an alien that came to them in a spaceship (the chariot) and taught them not to stare at the sun. Then they stole a story from the Greeks because all Roman culture was stolen from other places and counterfeit and gave it a different name to represent their alien and explain it to their pagan asses.

How come Phoebus doesn’t burn when he’s pulling the Sun around?? That’s because he’s an alien and had advanced technology to combat the radiating heat of the Sun, which modern humans still don’t have.

Now Iran, that’s a real civilization. At least they knew about soap.

  • Munrock ☭@lemmygrad.ml
    37·
    3 months ago

    They were really good at battlefield coordination because they shared the one butt sponge and wore no pants.

    They all had identical gut biomes, and that allowed them to coordinate. If one soldier on the front line got scared or killed he’d shit himself, and that would alert the gut biome of every soldier who smelled it. It meant that their instincts were intensely accurate.

    The term ‘ass kisser’ actually originated from Gaius Julius Caesar’s senior officers while he was on campaign. Every officer observed the practice which ensured that any soldiers close enough to smell his breath would know that he spoke with Caesar’s authority.