Unfortunately, I can’t write a full novel about all the nuances of being a parent. If you read my words, I tried to generalize and caveat where possible. I am being very blunt and direct and its not hard to understand that it’s going to piss off someone.

My experience is absolutely not universal. Do you have a brain? Use it. Everything is situational. Adjust your actions accordingly. Be firm and kind but don’t give up and cave to a child’s demands. If you feel the need to judge an entire person by a single comment, you do you.

Too many parents I have seen get stuck in loops of negotiating with their kids and end up getting frustrated and yelling. People make tantrums out to be hyper-complicated when they really aren’t.

Kids, for the most part, are mirrors of the parents behavior. Kids emulate behavior as it’s a key part of development. If parents don’t recognize their own actions and behavior has consequences, then they need to start looking deep.

One child is grown and the other almost is, and I rarely use this instance, btw. A more complete history is on lemmy.ca.

My children are A/B students and think for themselves. I haven’t been angry with my kids in years and only then was it when they did something that potentially caused them harm. They don’t get in trouble or get in fights. Now that the most difficult years of parenthood are over, I get to spoil them a little.

I am an engineer, and have a respectable career. I recognize psychedelics as helpful to society and are 100% legal where I live. Guns are a hobby, not my personality. (My other hobbies are plentiful as well. If you want to learn about electronics, computers, IT security, basic CNC machining, 3D printing, or numerous other topics, let me know!)

I knew it was a matter of time before these quips came up. There is nothing I said that was harmful or even suggested abuse. If parents can’t look at themselves and realize that most of their child’s behavior is a direct result of how the parents themselves behave, well, I can’t help them.

It is absolutely possible to treat the child like a person. My point is that most tantrums are allowed by the parents because of frustration.

The reason for tantrums should be clear as day to the parents. Usually, the kid is wanting something or not wanting to do something badly. Kids are not complex and their basic needs should be second nature to parents by the time they are old enough to throw a tantrum.

When a child is old enough to throw a tantrum, they are able to understand words, generally. IMHO, the parent needs to be firm, not “strict”. Old phrases like “the parents are always right” or “because I said so” should be thrown in the trash where they belong.

For example, when I was at the mall with my first daughter (she was 4, I think.) she threw her first (and last) tantrum in the middle of the crowded mall because she wanted to go into the Disney store as we were leaving. My reaction was quick and firm. I immediately squatted down to her eye level, ensured eye contact and that she was fully focused on me. (Being quick about my response was important.) I explained that throwing a tantrum was not going to help her situation one bit. I didn’t raise my voice or hold her down. I didn’t threaten her with punishment or anything like that. She understood immediately that she did not like my shift into “daddy mode” and the battle was over quicker than it started.

My approach there was to quickly snap the kids attention directly to me. Using words they understand is important, of course, but I explain what they are doing is not right. I have them repeat the point of what I say to make sure they understand it, out loud.

If, by chance, the parent actually doesn’t understand what the child needs, that is a perfect time to ask. Help the child communicate their needs properly.

How that is applied is situational, but the underlying method is the same. Break the endless cycle of the kid saying “but I want” and the parent just saying “no”.

Tantrums are all the same. It’s a pointless escalation of a situation by both the child and the parent.

Neurodivergence is a special case, obviously. However, using distraction and simple logic can help as well. There have been a few tantrums by my nephew I have stopped cold using the same method. It is more challenging because of the needs of the child, but it works.

If kids have any form of tantrum, it’s because the parents let them and cave to the kids “demands”. Kids will keep throwing tantrums if it works.

Edit: You can downvote all you want, but regardless of the situation, if you need to take 3 pointers from an article about “tech tantrums”, there are some more serious issues at play and it’s not an issue with the child.

That press release was so short, it bypassed the paywall. I looked around a bit but couldn’t find which companies had their exports halted. (It hasn’t been released yet?)

The Dread Pirate Roberts reference is from the movie Princess Bride.

Wesley spends years building up an immunity to a fictional substance called “iocaine powder”, the most deadly substance known to man. He tricks a foe into drinking wine laced with it, killing his foe while he survives.

https://princessbride.fandom.com/wiki/Iocaine_powder

The admins were using the legal staus of shrooms in other countries (besides their own) as a justification for removing the community. Ok, cool. Now apply that reasoning fairly across other communities.

Clarifying a point is not hard and they do get very specific with other rules as well, if you haven’t read them. They could easily say that drug trade on lemmy.world is forbidden. Easy.

Also, chill with the ad hominem arguments. Trying to use insults to prove yourself correct just makes you look like the jackass.

Again, I don’t think you understand the full scope of the points I am making. I understand your points, but they are just bad ones.

Speaking of removed communities, can an admin respond to this please: https://lemmy.world/post/3165787

Your input is fascinating, but misplaced.

The purpose of this thread was for the admins to clarify what actually is illegal. Allowing a marijuana community has the same risks for an admin as pictures of other things like shrooms in other communities.

I personally would like to know where it is illegal to post and talk about any drug, honestly. Especially so if the drugs we are talking about are widely decriminalized.

Growing, selling or trading drugs online is generally illegal. I understand why those kinds of posts should be removed.

Lemmy Connect is quite good for Android.

One would think he would eventually cancel himself.

I am on other instances. The problem is that they are, like it or not, the first impression that new users get of Lemmy and the rest of the federation.

beholden to their guidelines

I am all for that! They need to properly define those guidelines. While it is “their” instance, the intent is for it to be publicly accessible. Continuity with their own guidelines is kind of important to help this space grow as a public instance. I don’t care what those guidelines are, just make them consistent.

The instance is in Germany from what I understand. Regardless, their justification was that shrooms are illegal in most places. That being their main point sets up the contradiction that I am referring to. It casts a bit of doubt on the intent and how to interpret rule 1.

The admins don’t have to abide by their rules, but we do.

No step

They can do that! As a matter of fact, I support compliance with local regulations.

The problem is, they aren’t. They are picking and choosing laws to follow. Their instance is located in Germany, but yet, their marijuana legalization laws are only in draft: https://www.forbes.com/sites/dariosabaghi/2023/07/10/germany-unveils-draft-bill-to-legalize-cannabis/?sh=5ed53b322726

They are using the justification that “some things are illegal in some countries” as grounds for community suspension, yet, they are picking and choosing.

It’s illegal to talk about piracy and shrooms? I can see posts getting deleted for directly trafficking in pirated stuff or if someone was trying to openly sell sketchy drugs.

Anything that is allowed on this site could be a target for legal action. Even their unverified access to porn is grounds for legal action in most places.

You need to look at the complete picture of the bias that is involved.

Which would prove my point. Lulz.

Hysterical spelling aside for a bit…

Deprogramming one cult with another seems counterproductive.