Reading this on my Apple Watch, while riding my Hoverboard, watching Bio-Dome in the background, and eating a wet-ass Arby’s sandwich I smashed into a quesadilla in my Quesadilla Maker… I can’t wait until it rockets through my intestines so I can use my Dude Wipes! 😎
Eating wet asses and smashing Dillas and cleaning up with wipes after? That’s quite the sex party you got going on there.
Jumping on the “don’t use flushable wipes” bandwagon. Seriously, they can screw your home’s plumbing up.
For anyone doubting this is even possible for a product that is mass-marketed and available everywhere, look back a little over a decade. For a hot minute we had scrubs and soaps that had tiny little plastic beads in suspension to provide some grit. All those microbeads got flushed down the drain and wound up who knows where. That is until it was made illegal.
Dude wipes are the most toxic masculine bullshit product I’ve ever seen. Honestly who the fuck buys that shit except the most fragile male ego in the universe
Agreed. Stop flushing wipes, none of them are “flushable”. If it doesn’t dissolve from light manipulation when wet, it’s not flushable.
Bidet. Just get one. They’re like $30 and take 10min to install. Clean buttholes forever.
Bidets are great if you’re at home but if you travel you need something
I’ve tried to get them to install one at work, but they keep slapping that one down.
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Fuck it unattended hose in someone’s yard
You really don’t. Toilet paper does the job for 90+% of people, at least in the US.
And 90+% of the United States population walks around with shit on their ass. It’s gross.
To be fair, a moistened wad or two of toilet paper works just as well as “flushable” wipes.
Have you tried toilet paper?
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I’m sitting on a fine $700 one right now and it’s heaven. My real office.
I can’t even imagine what features $700 can buty you in a bidet.
Guess I was wrong about price… it’s $850 but it’s the Toto S550e. Bought it two years ago and haven’t regretted it at all. I’m actually going to have an electrician come out to install plugs in the other bathrooms to put bidets in all of them.
The one I have now also sprays the front area for the ladies to I can’t comment on that but might be why it’s so expensive.
The seat heats, the water is warm that sprays, auto open… pretty much all you need. I will say that as a dude on the taller side (6’ 2”), I really have to scoot my ass forward quite a bit so I’d probably find something else for my next bidet.
TOTO SW3056#01 S550E Electronic Bidet Toilet Seat with Cleansing Warm, Nightlight, Auto Open and Close Lid, Instantaneous Water Heating, and EWATER+
Ah that’s a lot more features then even the nice hotel in Korea had. The instant heat and all the automatic stuff is probably why it’s so expensive.
The second nozzle for vulvas is standard on even cheap models.
Ah man, you’ve got a Cadillac.
I had me an old Panasonic model at my old apartment that wasn’t as nice but goddamn if you set that MF to the strongest setting 🫨🫨. The thing would clean your ass, rectum and colon lol.
I liked the answer that I once saw here: “Real men do whatever the fuck they want.” No one cares about this kind of judgmental assholery.
Yes, Real Men™️ fall for toxic masculinity marketing tactics. Real Men™️! Also, just your average mindless consumer regardless of gender but Real Men™️, too! Especially, Real Men™️!
Be Real Men™️
Real men have painted nails when their kids say it’s time to paint nails
Not to go political but have you paid any attention to the number of supporters of the king of fragile male egos, their king? It’s a huuuge market segment.
They’re larger than regular wipes, and the chemicals are less irritating. Compare to cottonelle wipes which make my down there burn, and the choice is easy. These days I prefer crocodile wipes though.
So then call them “XL wipes” and put a line about sensitive skin
Pass that along to their branding coordinators. No one here can do shit about what products are named.
We can do a little bit by mocking the branding mercilessly.
I’m just pointing out how stupid it is, you can contact their branding people all you want on my behalf!
Who’s out there wiping crocodiles?!
I buy them because they smell like mint. I prefer them over normal wet wipes. I didn’t think this was such a passionate issue for people.
You also seem to be taking it really personally for some reason.
I buy the product, the comment attacks people who buy the product. I’m quite literally the target group. “For some reason”
Yeah same, I got ones that smell like Shea butter, they’re pretty nice. I mean if the store had other ones branded differently with the same wipes I would just buy those lol. I feel like the only ones triggered by the imagery are ironically the guys who are insecure in their masculinity and feel threatened by a literal moist toilette.
Turns out there are a lot of those people. They’re probably doing fine.
they’re probably doing better with cleaner buttholes than if these didnt exist
If it gets men to take care of themselves…I’m for it.
REAL MEN HAVE SKID MARKS
/s
I know a guy that said he doesn’t wash around his ass when he showers because “that’s gay as hell”. I don’t even wanna know what kind of biome he’s got flourishing down there.
Sounds like the kind of guy that comes out of the closet in their 80’s.
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I’m a caregiver for a man who needs coaching through the entire bathroom hygiene process and I can say that in my professional opinion, Dude Wipes are terrible. They pull apart just getting them out of the package (see below), let alone when someone with dexterity issues tries to clean their butthole with them. He ended up with a poop covered hand after pulling the bits of pulled apart dude wipe out from his butt.
They are the largest “flushable” wipes, but are smaller than a normal baby wipe. Flushable wipes shouldn’t be flushed anyway, they’re terrible for every type of sewage system.
Fine, but now big gals with same need to buy “dude wipes.” Just call it heavy duty, or industrial strength.
Or Carl’s jr EXXXTRA BIG-ASS wipes.
Awe… I like Arby’s. Their curly fries are easily on my top 10 best fastfood fries.
I’ve had Arby’s 5 times. In a wide variety of locations across the States while visiting friends or family. It’s delicious, which is why it took me 5 times getting food poisoning to stop eating at Arby’s.
The local Arby’s here has roaches and it’s well-known. People still go there all the time and the drivethru is always busy.
Extra protein, amirite?
Yum yum!
Sad fact: if one place in your neighbourhood has roaches you all got roaches.
Can confirm. The nearby Wendy’s also has them lmao
The fries are fantastic but not enough to justify the wet ass sandwiches
They sell them frozen in a bag now. So you don’t have to eat something that came out of an Arby’s kitchen.
get a goddamn bidet.
Let the poop dry on your butthole and then brush it off like your ancestors did for millennia.
they raped and murdered too. I’d like to think we made at least some progress in the last couple of millenia.
Can anyone explain why people hate Arby’s?
I know they’re pricy… but never understood why there’s so much hate for the restaurant.
My favorite fast food restaurant TBH. I don’t get it either.
I hate them because the last four times I ate there, I had diarrhea for days, all different locations. The last time I ate there, it all came out 12 minutes later. So yeah, four for four is enough to establish that their “food” is just toxic.
As I replied to someone else. I’m Canadian, but have friends and family in the States. I’ve had Arby’s 5x, and it’s delish…which is why it took getting food poisoning from Arby’s all over the damn country 5 whole ass times to stop eating there.
Might just be the insane amount of sodium in the meal. Arby’s is salty af. Too much salt can cause diarrhea cause your body wants to reach equilibrium and dumps water into your gut to make it isotonic.
The American physique is prepared for this salt assault by being chronically under hydrated.
Yeah, could be, for 2 or 3 of the instances. There was a few times I was ill for over a week though, which is definitely food poisoning.
Brah… Tim Horton’s is amazing. Thank you for giving us that restaurant.
Idk, it’s owned by Burger King now, which is why we’re starting to get them here in the UK. So it’s not a Canadian owned business anymore. And the coffee quality dropped basically over night after they bought it. The doughnuts are still that particular kinda trash that is exceptionally delicious. Surprisingly, the coffee at Tim’s in the UK is somehow even worse than back in Canada. Some of their food is really good, but it really depends on who makes it…which I guess is the same for any franchise.
The rumour I heard is that McDonalds snaked Tim’s coffee supplier so a massive shift in quality occurred that they haven’t seemed to recover from
Is that why McD’s suddenly got pretty good? Hmmmmmm
As far as I know, yes.
Tim Horton’s certainly can hit the spot but the quality has been on a steady decline for about 15 years now. Their menu used to be very simple; coffee and assorted café style drinks, bakery treats, and soup and sandwich. All very simple, yet effective as the ingredients were of reasonable quality and the coffee was consistently good.
Nowadays the diversification of the menu has gotten so extreme that they can barely do any single thing right. Coffee is often burnt as machines are calibrated too hot, machines not properly rinsed after cleaning resulting in an oil slick of soap and chemicals floating in your coffer (personal experience), donuts and breads are often stale or poorly made… For years their breakfast menu’s egg was not egg at all. “Cheese and onion egg-like product” was what was on the box. Only recently have they moved to using real egg which has had a massively positive effect on the breakfast menu’s quality.
Tim’s can be good. In Canada, its often that its not. I live in a town of ~50,000. This town has more Tim Horton’s than Ottawa with over 1M people. Tim’s has a cult-like following around here. Not sure why after the years of mediocrity.
Glad you like it though. I’d love to try your Tim’s to see if there is much of a difference.
Damn I was not aware. I discovered Tim Horton’s in 2018 and it was far better than Dunkin’ Donuts, still is. If it was better than what it is now… I’d probably be overly obese by now.
Yeah, it was quite good back in the day.
It’s gross? Let me restate that: It’s gross.
To be fair (in judgement on my part), last time I had a roast beef sandwich was in 2018, I’ve only bought their reubens since then.
It’s pretty simple: Arby’s is gross.
Wet ass sandwiches, as written in the ad. I don’t like Arby’s because the bread on their sandwiches is typically stale and is always served cold. Something about roast beef being wet is generally off-putting and most of their sandwiches are roast beef. I think that Arby’s being the only mainstream fast food deli has something to do with my low opinion. Hamburgers have some idiosyncrasies as well: cold cheese, lettuce is gross and wilted, different condiment defaults, ground beef is cheap and garbage tier food in the grand scheme of things. But the thing is that every fast food chain is burgers so the specific bad experiences of one chain are contrasted against the other chains. Jack in the box has greaseball burgers that have the consistency of slop, but, because they can be contrasted against Burger King, which has gimmicky food, nasty defaults, and burgers that are assembled sloppily with accoutrement splattered everywhere and cohesiveness scoring firmly in trash tier, they get a pass. I would argue that all fast food is trash food, but the illusion of choice keeps the whole house of ass-flavored cards standing. You can pick a cohesive slop (JITB) or an non-cohesive slapped together proper burger (BK). The flaws of one are mistakenly compared to the defacto standard of the competition when they should be compared to the real standard of actual good food. Arby’s doesn’t have competition in its space so that defacto standard doesn’t exist, leading people to compare it to delis that aren’t garbage tier food. There is a competition mismatch and Arby’s ends up competing against food outside of its tier, revealing it to be garbage tier. Further discussion is encouraged.
Liquid Death? It’s just fucking water. There’s already water in your house you don’t need a fucking can with a threatening name for it.
I heard the branding was to help recovering alcoholics, so they don’t feel like they’re “missing out,” and won’t stand out so much with a scary can instead of a water bottle/glass. So they can still crack a cold one with the boys and such.
I’d believe this with how much I see Steve-O drinking it on his YouTube channel. The dude made a point to drive a whole ass vending machine of Liquid Death across the country to his new home lol. At his previous home in California, it was apparently up against the coping of the half pipe in his backyard so you could do trick off of it.
That’s pretty cute. I support this.
eh I find their tall boys of sparking water have made it so I hardly drink alcohol at all now.
It’s worth $1.57 to fool my brain, and certainly cheaper than the same amount of beer.
I had heard that’s the point, to a degree, or at least to help people with a drinking problem not feel ostracized while out with friends.
Okay, but their teas are actually pretty darn good and not loaded with sugar. I agree about the water though.
(Although, aluminum is essentially infinitely recyclable compared to plastic, so is probably a better alternative to bottled water)
Hate to break it to you, the inside of cans are still lined with plastic. Still marginally better than plastic bottles though.
If you have a local filtered water supplier you can bring a large reusable container and refill water from there. That way you still get the filtered water taste but cut out shipping
My local filtered water supplier is the fucking city I pay taxes to and it’s just fine. I don’t understand why so many people are afraid of tap water. I can download fifty fucking years of water testing data. I can get my home water tested for free every year. And you still have these assholes out here who drink nothing but plastic bottled water because it’s $5 per case from Aldi. That shit should have at least $5 of taxes added to it which go straight to the municipal supply.
Nothing wrong with tap, it’s the best choice if your city has proper mechanisms to ensure tap water quality. Unfortunately not all cities invested in good infrastructure. Theres still a couple of US cities with either bad pipes or local water pollution
I’m not afraid of tap water but, in the city I live in, it tastes like pool water and I find that highly unpleasant.
I’ve heard of kids who have been too corrupted by drink marketing to drink water drinking liquid death. If it gets demographics who wouldn’t otherwise drink water to drink water I can’t get upset about it
Costco seltzer packs are a much better/cheaper choice.
while i am a proponent that different brands of water is different and there is a difference in taste, ill never defend overpriced water.
like you arent going to give me a bottle of arrowhead water.
Arrowhead is the nastiest
bottledwater ever. If someone gave that shit to me instead of just local tap water, I’d be insulted.It is tap water.
From the rustiest taps in the world. It’s so metallic tasting, I’m surprised it’s not a brownish orange color.
I hope you guys are memeing because getting passionately mad over guy branded stuff that we just find kinda neat is a new level of stupid I haven’t been exposed to yet. I want my asshole to smell like mint, so I buy dude wipes. I want canned water to cut down on plastic usage, so I buy liquid death. I want a burger that’s not made of animals so I buy a beyond burger. Beyond what? I don’t fucking know I just want a burger.
It’s not that deep.
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Why did you moo? Are you the cattle? Actual retard.
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Why ask if I am something only to then claim I am that very thing? You really have problems, guy.
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Bio-Dome is pretty fun. And you get to see an early appearance of Tenacious D.
I love the D
you can quote me on that
Also jamming out to Voodoo Glow Skulls in a fuckin busted ass geo or whatever is a real mood. They certainly made trouble in that bubble.
Haven’t thought about voodoo glow skulls in a minute. BRB, gonna go see if band geek mafia holds up.
Album still slaps. Same few tracks worth skipping like love letter, but gonna keep it in summer rotation.
You listen to their 2021 album? I had no idea they were still active. It’s pretty good!
Woah! No, I had no idea either. Ima peep that.
After the nuclear apocalypse the only things left will be the roaches, Twinkies, and any band which has ever signed with Epitaph records.
I love the D - nyahlathotep@sh.itjust.works
Hmm… It lost me at “Pauly Shore”, but got me back at “Tenacious D”… This is a puzzler 🤔
Oi I’m not wiping my manly butthole with those pink girly wipes. That’d be GAY or probably something equally incoherent.
I’d never heard of Dude Wipes, and I don’t get the point of them at all. I’d probably buy Gendered Butthole Wipes, though, I love the name!
Lol at the idea of gendered buttholes… like a dude burning down a California town celebrating his butthole’s gender reveal.
I mentioned Dude Wipes to my wife, and she said that they were popular with the young teens she works with. Apparently they’re not for your butthole specifically, but just general cleanliness wherever.
I remember reading somewhere that men’s buttholes are tougher than women’s and therefore more resilient to anal sex. It was in a thread though where feminists were complaining about anal sex being degrading and potentially injurious for women, so take it with a grain of salt.
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Pro-tip: if you choose to wipe your ass with babywipes/gendered moist towellets… Don’t flush them.
Just to reiterate, even the ones that claim to be “flushable” DO NOT FLUSH THEM. It’s a damn lie and I don’t know how they keep getting away with it.
It feels like a part of that deregulation politicians keep going on about. Deregulation ruined the airlines and now they’re ruining our buttholes… when is enough enough?
What? But they’re flushable*, it says so right on the package.
* if your municipality allows it. No municipality does.
We really gotta regulate the use of that word.
Regulate? Sounds socialist and anti capitalist. Better just let them keep doing what they want for the sake of The Economy ®
Can you just put “flushable” on anything and get away with it? For instance if I made a “flushable” pillow case could I be held legally liable for anything?
Flushable bees!
Flushable rapid-set concrete.
It says flushable, which is true. It doesn’t say what happens to it after it’s flushed, and it doesn’t say it’s a good idea.
From the same blithering idiots who regurgitate “everything is edible once, huh yuk!” every time inedible mushrooms are mentioned.
The hoverboards are for kids as far as I can tell. Childhood just isn’t the same without some way to bust your face open. Parks got nerfed by a well-meaning child safety crusade that fixed nothing and ruined playgrounds; because the problem wasn’t that the playgrounds are dangerous - the problem was that kids are stupid and clumsy so sometimes shit happens and a kid will die tragically. It’s literally unavailable, that’s what makes it an accident.
Some of these kinds of things - especially “as seen in tv” stuff advertised by fumblebums - are actually intended for people who are partially or wholly physically disabled. But if they market it for disabled people then they’ll sell less of them and the price will go up, and because we live in
Americahell, the disabled didn’t make nearly enough to survive as is. So they market it to everybody with an over-the-top ad instead. Remember the Snuggy? Literally designed for people in wheelchairs and with mobility issues.The rest is just brand awareness bullshit and market expansion. Seriously, man-wipes exist because they’d hit market saturation and are trying to squeeze out a profit increase by targeting a different demographic. Because in capitalism, the line MUST go up. Brand awareness is just a way of saying “Hey! Pay attention to me, I’m Diet Coke! Don’t forget! Are you thirsty now? Pick me!” And the quest part? Both stupid trucks work because people are dumb.
Some of these kinds of things […] are actually intended for people who are partially or wholly physically disabled.
After I learned this, I immediately felt bad for poking fun at these kinds of products. Normalizing their use by the non-disabled, and depicting the products likewise on TV, makes it that much more acceptable to the intended audience. If this wasn’t the case, it might sting a bit as a gift for someone that really needs it. And then there’s the economy of scale effect you mention; nobody would get a Snuggy if they cost $100 each.
I don’t care about hoverboards, but a great side effect of their mass production is that you can get a pretty decent brushless motor now for very cheap. I also saw a video about a hack you can do to make it run better at higher RPMs. You can get one of those hoverboard motors for like $30 on ebay and pair it with a $25 ODrive clone from aliexpress. Its good for probably 10 nm of torque at 36v 10a.
I see a hoverboard at my apartment dumpsters practically once a week. I rip them open for the battery pack, its always a stack of 18650s. I guess i should start collecting the motors too?
a stack of 18650s
(you probably already know) but this is common in a lot of battery packs. Batteries for power tools are good sources for the 18650s too. I never checked but I saw someone open a Tesla car battery and they look like a bunch of 18650s inside too.
I refurbish my power tool batteries instead of buying new ones because it is so easy.
I read(yelled) this entirely in Lewis Black’s voice.
Now these are my kind of ads 🤩
